“It’s hard to feel blessed when you feel cursed. Prayer seems pointless when you believe no one cares.”– Anneli Rufus, Spirituality & Health
During the holiday season, feeling grateful and happy can be difficult for those of us with chronic pain or illness. Most of the time we walk around like there’s a target on our backs and God is hurling travesty after trial after tribulation at us. If we even believe in God at this point, that is. I haven’t for a while.
For me, cultivating a feeling of happiness generally takes the “fake it ’til you make it” mentality. Smile hard enough and some truth will bleed through. This blogger, Anneli Rufus, definitely has the right idea. She’s referring more to self-loathing and low self-esteem, but the same principles hold true for other groups as well. Take her advice and apply it to your own situation: Let joy be contagious. Write down lists of what you want out of life. Experience the outdoors. Try to find a path to what you consider sacred.
What do I consider sacred? I don’t know. That’s part of my problem. I’m so messed up by the cocktail of drugs I take (from the best dealer in town: the Stop & Shop pharmacy) that I can barely maintain a train of thought, much less contemplate my higher consciousness.
My pain management doctor is changing the ingredients of the cocktail, so hopefully I’ll have the ability to gain more insight soon. In the meantime, I will keep smiling and enjoy the holidays, as much as I am able to.